I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
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