there's paper in my vomit.
a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
Randomize