YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
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