So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
Randomize
