so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
my cat ate my toast this morning while i was getting dressed. i can already tell today is going to suck.
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
well most of my day revolves around power hour
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
Tomorrow's Mother's Day and the only thing I can afford is beer and the McDonalds dollar menu. Do you think a Budweiser and a Big Mac says thank you for me fucking up your life since 1990?
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
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