I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
