If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
Randomize
