I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
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