No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
I'm both gender and math confused
Randomize
