The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
Randomize
