Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
Are we still banned from the library?
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
Randomize
