Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
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