just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
Randomize
