oh god the rape fog is back!
He is such a slut. More and more my type.
I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
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