I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
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