i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
that is very illegal...i love you.
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
Randomize
