Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Randomize
