You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
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