at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
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