just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
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