sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
Randomize
