ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
Had a dream last night that we survived the apocalypse. And we celebrated Christmas.
What did I get you?
A 12 gauge and a bottle of vodka that was waist high.
Sounds about right
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
Randomize
