i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
Randomize
