God I can't wait to have my phone textbombed every night
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
Randomize
