make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
Randomize
