OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
I think I have vodka in my lungs
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Randomize
