4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
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