He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
Randomize
