Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
