he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
Whatever, you're gonna have to break it to mom that the reason I was so drunk at Christmas dinner is because she wouldn't stop asking me why I don't have a boyfriend
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
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