its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
Things you owe me: a sober apology, $12, the removal of bbq sauce from my doorknob
Call me as soon as you're able to dial a phone. I just took a shit behind a building in broad daylight and need to get the fuck outta here soon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
just found out that she named her cat after me.
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
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