Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
Randomize
