I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
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