At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
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