I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
