a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
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