Tell her she can't have a vagina
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
tell me about the eggs
Randomize
