"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
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