I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
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