Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
Randomize
