I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
come over after work tomorrow, liz and i will make all of your wildest dreams come true. so long as your wildest dreams involve drinking champagne at my house with two girls who won't have sex with you.
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
My liver just had a heart attack.
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
Randomize
