thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
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