I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
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