Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
Randomize
