i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
I was sitting down, taking a piss with a boner, her cat walked into the bathroom and walked up to my legs, I sneezed and pissed all over her cat through between the toilet seat and bowl, it ran off screeching. She thought I peed on her cat on purpose. Kicked me out
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
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