I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
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