THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
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