That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
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