Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
This is my gift to your gina
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
Randomize
