Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
Randomize
