HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
I'll have you know...trying to masturbate while a song about jesus is stuck in your head is next to impossible
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
Randomize
