Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
Btw I puked in your glovebox
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