i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
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