You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
Randomize
