i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
he just fucked me for my cheese.
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
Randomize
