ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
I can't figure out how to eat twizzlers and I have to be at a wedding reception in an hour.
Please never have kids.
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
Randomize
